


My First Kiss Went a Little Like this

by With_Broken_Wings



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Julie Molina, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Child Neglect, Demisexual Luke Patterson, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, M/M, Platonic Kissing, Polyamory, Reggie's Parents Suck, Requited Unrequited Love, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Crush, except Bobby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27673325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/With_Broken_Wings/pseuds/With_Broken_Wings
Summary: In which Reggie kisses all of his friends but none of them love him in quite the way that he wants them to. Or so he thinks?
Relationships: Alex/Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Reggie, Julie Molina/Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina/Reggie, Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 109
Kudos: 469





	1. With My Fingers In Your Hair

**Author's Note:**

> I'm obsessed with this show. I've watched it three times in a row. It just makes me so happy!!! So I wanted to write a fic for it. Hope it turned out ok?

Reggie had his first kiss when he was fourteen. 

He’d been pretty awkward at that age. He had very little self-confidence and refused to fight back when other kids were cruel to him. He was an easy target, and it was like bullies could see it. At least that’s how the school year started out. But people quickly learned that while Reggie didn’t fight back he had friends who would.

He had three best friends. He’d known Alex his entire life, their moms being friends. He’d met Luke in first grade and Bobby their first day of middle school. They formed a sort of band, though it had no official name and they didn't do much more than play through their favorite songs, but it was fun. They had each other’s backs no matter what. Though for the most part it only ever seemed to be Reggie that needed saving. 

Alex and Luke were never targets. Despite Alex's shyness he was never singled out the way Reggie was. Maybe bullies were wary of the ferocious way he would smash away on his drums in music class when he was upset. It was a bit intimidating. And Luke's natural charisma made him fairly popular despite not really hanging out with anyone but their group. And Bobby... He was fiercely protective and had a hot temper which led to a few all out bloody knuckled brawls between him and some dumb kids that had tried to beat down Reggie’s already pathetic self-esteem.

Reggie’s friends were kind of the most amazing people in the world. And that was a problem. The problem being that he had developed crushes on all of them. They were his fiercest defenders. He showed them parts of himself that he never showed anyone else and they returned the favor. Alex soft and sweet and kind. Luke loud and passionate and so certain of what he wanted in life. Bobby, funny and protective and a little bit wild.

His boys.

Still, even with them he wasn’t sure how to talk about the way he felt the same amount of attraction to guys as he did girls. Out loud he swooned over Lizzy Becker’s silky blond hair but didn’t mention how often he found himself wanting to wind his fingers into Luke’s messy brown locks. He sighed about Amanda Maxwell’s pretty dark brown eyes but never talked about the way he couldn’t seem to look away from Alex’s big beautiful blue ones. He’d wax poetic about Samantha Taylor’s glossy lips but would never dare let them know that he stared every time Bobby smiled because he was so taken in by the way it lit up his face.

Being gay wasn’t something people really talked about. Bobby was always going on endlessly about girls, often with Luke chiming in. And Reggie tried his best to contribute his thoughts, censoring out the gay bits and giving them the parts that sounded straight. 

Alex wasn’t really involved in those talks. He’d laugh a little and stay on the outskirts of the conversations. Nobody ever prodded him about it though. Reggie wondered sometimes if Alex didn’t like girls like that. If he only liked guys. But he didn’t know how to broach the subject. And if he was wrong Alex might be offended. Might even be disgusted by him. Might tell Luke and Bobby and they’d all be disgusted by him.

Logically he knew that scenario was unlikely. These were his best friends after all. But still, he'd heard other kids at school make awful jokes about such things and it left him feel sick and worried.

They spent most of their time in Bobby’s garage. They'd started coming in before practice and staying after practice and suddenly it was where they spent all of their time outside of school. Bobby had told them multiple times that it wasn’t just his garage, it was the band’s garage, and they were free to use it as needed. That meant that Reggie usually ended up crashing there a couple of times a week when his parents fighting was so terrible that he couldn’t stand to be in the house. He had a sort of unofficial bedroom in the loft, being the one who slept overnight the most. 

The others didn’t usually spend the night out of necessity, just when they were having an all night movie marathon or practice went so late they just decided to stay at the garage instead of trying to bike home in the dark. In those cases they’d pile onto the rickety pull out bed, a pile of sweaty intertwined limbs. Reggie was fond of nights like those.

One night when it started to get dark the others began to disperse like usual. Bobby went back up the path into his house and Luke took off on his bike down the road. Reggie, still sitting cross legged on the couch fiddling with his guitar looked up in surprise when he realized that Alex hadn’t left. He was standing nervously near the door, wringing his hands.

Reggie was concerned at the obvious anxiety. “Hey man, what’s going on?”

Alex walked back over to the couch and sat down. He was balanced on the edge of the cushion like he was ready to bolt at any given moment. He took several deep breaths as if to psych himself up for whatever he was about to say.

“See the thing is…” Alex blurted out only stop mid-sentence, chewing at his lip as he avoided Reggie’s eyes.

Reggie put his hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is I’m there for you man. If you killed someone I’ll grab a shovel. Just let me know.”

Alex’s eyes went wide in alarm. “What??? No! Reggie that’s actually pretty worrying.”

Reggie laughed. “You’re one of my best friends. You can tell me anything, I promise.”

Alex took another deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m gay. And you’re the first person I’ve told.”

Reggie felt a glow of warmth. Alex trusted him enough to tell him first and while he looked pretty nervous Alex didn’t really seem _afraid _of him. Hadn’t expected hate from Reggie. And suddenly Reggie felt more comfortable around him. Safe.__

__“Me too!” he blurted out._ _

__Alex was completely incredulous. “You’re gay?”_ _

__“I mean, not exactly. I like guys? But I also like girls?”_ _

__“Oh, so bisexual?”_ _

__Reggie shrugged, “I guess?”_ _

__Alex seemed completely relaxed now. “I guess that means you’re cool with me being gay?”_ _

__“Ya dude. I mean even if I was totally straight I’d still be cool with it, I hope you know that.”_ _

__“I’m glad I told you first. I just had the feeling you’d take it the best,” Alex said._ _

__“I mean I can’t tell you in total honesty what the other guys will say but they aren’t going to hate you for it. They love you man. We all do.”_ _

__Alex smiled. “Thanks Reggie.”_ _

__Reggie smiled back and pulled him into a hug. Alex hugged back tightly and they sat like that for a moment before pulling a part._ _

__“Sooo now I have someone to talk about boys with!” Reggie beamed._ _

__Alex choked a little, flushing bright red. “Um, ya I guess.”_ _

__“Do you like anyone?” Reggie asked eagerly. “Have you kissed any cute guys yet?”_ _

__Alex stammered, flustered and overwhelmed. He’d obviously not expected such excited enthusiasm following his coming out._ _

__“No,” he admitted embarrassedly. “I mean I don’t even know how to tell if a boy is gay. What if I try to flirt with someone and they think I’m gross and tell everyone else at school and suddenly I’m the weird gay kid…”_ _

__“It’s ok,” Reggie interrupted. “We’re only fourteen. I’ve never kissed anyone either. I’m sure you’ll find an awesome guy that’s crazy about you someday.”_ _

__Alex furrowed his brow in confusion. “I thought you said you’d kissed Cindy Hendrickson last year?”_ _

__It was Reggie’s turn to be embarrassed now. “Oh ya… I know it’s really stupid but I wanted to seem cool? Luke and Bobby always have these girls smiling and giggling at them. So I wanted to seem like I had girls that liked me too?”_ _

__“Oh,” Alex seemed genuinely surprised at the confession. “So you’ve never kissed anyone. And I’ve never kissed anyone.”_ _

__Reggie nodded._ _

__“Ok,” Alex continued, his words suddenly blurring together at the speed they were pouring out of his mouth. “I know this is probably really weird and you can like totally ignore me and we can pretend this never happened if you want to, but since you like guys and I feel like you’d be the best person for me to do this with because you get me and you’re one of my best friends...”_ _

__“Whoa breathe!” Reggie interrupted with a little laugh. “Do you want to slow that down for me? Because I have no idea what you just said.”_ _

__“Do you think… Would you…. Can I kiss you?”_ _

__Reggie’s jaw dropped. There was a beat of silence._ _

__“Oh my god never mind. I can’t believe I asked you that. I’m so sorry, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I shouldn’t have said that. I really d…”_ _

__“Alex!”_ _

__Reggie shook off his shock and grabbed Alex by both shoulders._ _

__“Dude calm down. It’s fine! I was just surprised is all.”_ _

__Alex took a deep breath before meeting Reggie’s eyes. “So does that mean…”_ _

__“Ya,” Reggie said. “Let’s kiss.”_ _

__Alex flushed a little as he smiled in relief. There was a moment of awkwardness while they both hesitated, waiting to see who moved first. Finally Reggie slid his hand around the back of Alex’s head and tangled his fingers in his blond hair. He took a second to build up his bravery and then pulled Alex close._ _

__Their lips touched. Neither of them knew what to do past this point apparently so Reggie tried to mimic the kisses he’d seen in movies and started moving his mouth sloppily against Alex’s. The other boy tried to copy him._ _

__Alex’s lips were smooth and vaguely cherry flavored. Up close he smelled like vanilla and mint. His hair was soft beneath Reggie’s finger. Alex moved his arms around Reggie’s waist and his hands were warm where they pressed up against his back._ _

__The kiss was very wet and very awkward and yet somehow exciting despite that. They broke away after a minute or so._ _

__Reggie grinned giddily. Alex’s cheeks were pink, his hair mussed where Reggie had pulled at it, his lips slick with spit. Reggie’s spit. Alex gave him a small shy smile._ _

__“Can we try again?” Reggie asked eagerly. “I think I need a little more practice.”_ _

__Alex huffed out a laugh. “Ok why not.”_ _

__They leaned forwarded again. This time it went a little smoother. Their mouths more in sync, a little less fumbling. He buried his hands in Alex’s hair and pulled him as close as he could. They kissed again and again until they were both panting for breath._ _

__Reggie's heart was racing. Any doubt he might have had about being bisexual and vanished. He wanted to kiss Alex like that every day for the rest of forever._ _

__Alex smiled shyly and curled up against Reggie’s side. “Thank you.”_ _

__“For what?”_ _

__“You know. For accepting me. For the kiss.”_ _

__“I think I got just as much out of it as you did,” Reggie admitted._ _

__“I don’t think it would be a good idea for us to date though…” Alex sounded worried. “I like kissing you but I’m not totally ready to come out to the others yet and I feel like us dating in secret might mess up the dynamic of the band.”_ _

__Reggie’s heart ached at that. Alex was cute and sweet. His kisses made Reggie warm and happy. His mouth was soft and his eyes were beautiful and Reggie was a little bit in love with him._ _

__“I agree,” he lied. “We’re probably best as friends.”_ _

__Alex smiled in relief. He wrapped Reggie in a hug before standing to leave with a little wave. After he was gone Reggie curled up in a ball and sobbed his heart out. When he'd calmed down he gathered all of his romantic feelings for Alex and stuffed them in box. He forced the lid shut and locked it tight. He couldn’t let this affect him. Alex was his friend. His best friend. And he’d never be anything more. Reggie had to accept that._ _


	2. Wake Up In The Morning With The Taste Of Your Tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm blown away by the comments I got on the first chapter! I couldn't wait any longer to get out chapter two. They're sixteen in this one and I want to warn for underage drinking in case that makes anyone uncomfortable, so you guys know what to expect. I forgot to put that in the story tags so I'll put it there as well.  
> This chapter is Luke. Next chapter will be Bobby, followed by Julie, and then a final chapter to wrap up the happy ending.

Luke had his first kiss when he was sixteen. Reggie knew this because he _was _that first kiss.__

__Luke was the kind of guy that everyone seemed to like. He was charismatic, passionate, confident. When he talked about music he glowed. When he had a mic in front of him and a guitar in his hand he was positively ethereal._ _

__He was attractive too. Big puppy dog eyes, soft brown hair that curled up at the tips. Arms that made girls swoon. A smile that made hearts flutter. And Reggie wasn’t immune to his charm._ _

__When they were fifteen their band became totally official, with an actual name and small time gigs (even if it was just book clubs and birthday parties so far) and everything that came along with that. Sunset Curve was actually known by people now. And suddenly Luke stood out even more. Girls huddled into groups when he passed, giggling and whispering and batting their eyelashes._ _

__Luke was utterly oblivious. He seemed to think that their excitement was about the music not his gorgeous arms and perfect smile. Any attempts at flirting went straight over his head. He was too absorbed in his songs. Lyrics flowed through his bloodstream. Each heartbeat was the beat of a drum. Each breath the strum of a guitar. He was music personified._ _

__Reggie assumed that Luke just didn’t have time to think about dating when music was all he ever thought about, everything that he was. That’s probably why Luke spent all of his time with the band. Their friendship was like a never ending song. Their conversations and jokes and laughter a melody in itself. They all had music inside of them and they harmonized together perfectly._ _

__The night of Luke’s first kiss was cold and rainy. They pulled the couch out into a bed and made a nest of blankets, all huddled up together as they watched movies on the TV they had set up in the garage._ _

__Partway through the second movie Bobby left and returned to the garage with a bottle of vodka and another of rum. Alex was immediately on edge, anxious about getting caught and sent to prison and ruining any chance he had of going to college and his parents grounding him for all eternity._ _

__Before he could spiral too far Bobby was quick to assure Alex that he didn’t have to drink and was in no way ‘uncool’ for not doing so. If he wasn’t comfortable with it then he wasn’t comfortable with it and that was no problem. Reggie promised that they’d totally forget the idea entirely if Alex wanted them to, but he hesitantly told him he was fine with them doing it so long as he didn’t participate._ _

__Luke, however, was visibly curious and Reggie couldn’t help but wonder what was so special about alcohol. What exactly was it about drinking that kept glasses of wine glued to his mother’s hand and a beer bottle always in his father’s? There had to be something appealing about it right?_ _

__Alex watched nervously as Bobby poured Reggie a glass of coca cola splashed with rum and handed Luke a mixture of vodka and cranberry juice. They knocked their glasses together and threw back their drinks only to grimace and gag at the harsh burn. Bobby laughed but it wasn’t unkind, just genuinely amused. His own drink made him wince a little but he didn’t react as dramatically as Reggie and Luke had._ _

__Alex seemed to relax the more tipsy they got, settled into his role as sober group babysitter. It only took Reggie a couple of drinks to feel a little bit drunk. He kind of liked it. The warmth that spread through his chest, the fuzzy filter that fell over him like a cozy blanket, and the soothing buzzing of his fingers and toes. The looseness of his limbs and the laziness to his movements made him feel relaxed._ _

__Bobby was a sleepy drunk and as his motions became slower and sloppier he eventually conked out. Luke tried to move him over a bit on the mattress so that they wouldn’t wake him up and would have shoved him right off the edge had Alex not intervened with a roll of his eyes._ _

__Alex had been dutifully slipping water into their hands all night, keeping them hydrated and making sure they didn’t do anything too incredibly stupid. Luckily he'd convinced Luke that leaving to graffiti the band's logo on the front of the school was a terrible idea. And when Bobby started talking about finding the courage to go confess his love to the blonde girl he sat behind in math class by throwing rocks at her window and standing outside with a boombox Alex was quick to talk him out of it and remind him that this wasn't a movie and that move wouldn't go over very well in real life._ _

__His earlier anxiety had become amusement and he actually seemed to be having fun. He started to grow tired though, the later it got though and eventually nodded off only half an hour after Bobby._ _

__Luke was a touchy drunk._ _

__With the other two asleep he and Reggie curled up beneath their own blanket. Reggie giggled when the tips of Luke’s hairs tickled his cheeks. They were as close together as they could possibly be, arms around one another, legs intertwined, the entire lengths of their bodies pressed together. And Reggie wanted nothing more than to be even closer. To sink right into Luke and be one being._ _

__His eyes grew heavy. His body was warm. Luke pressed his face into his neck and Reggie smiled, content. Luke's hands slid up the back of his shirt and he sighed a little at the feeling, enjoying the closeness. He started to sink into a light doze._ _

__Then Luke pressed a kiss to his throat and Reggie was suddenly wide awake, his heart pounding in his chest._ _

__Luke didn’t seem to realize just what he was doing to him. He pressed his lips to Reggie’s jawline. Over his cheeks. He gave a soft peck on the tip of his nose. When Reggie’s eyes fluttered back shut Luke brushed gentle kisses to his eyelids._ _

__Reggie wanted to cry._ _

__He was drowning under the movement of Luke’s mouth over his skin. When their lips met Reggie understood what it meant when people talked about fireworks. His kiss with Alex had been amazing but this… It was obvious Luke wasn’t totally sure what he was doing but what he lacked in experience he made up for in complete enthusiasm. They made out for several minutes. It sloppy and eager and totally hot. When Luke pushed his tongue into Reggie’s mouth he felt like he’d ascended to heaven._ _

__Luke was a dream. His big expressive eyes hazy and wanting. His hands wandering and desperate. His mouth frantic and passionate. Luke was pure music and he was breathing songs into Reggie’s body. Reggie wondered how long Luke had wanted to do this. If it was something he’d thought about before or if he was just feeling drunk and touchy Reggie was a warm willing body next to him._ _

__When Luke’s hips started to roll against him Reggie groaned. It was good. Too good. It would be oh so easy to let himself get swept up in this moment. To just let it happen. But the thought of being Luke’s drunken hookup made him feel sick. He jerked back more sharply than he’d meant to and Luke immediately froze. His face twisted into regret and fear so Reggie curled back towards him and took his hand, wanting to take get rid of that expression. To bring back Luke’s smile._ _

__“Maybe we should sleep,” he slurred a little._ _

__“That was my first kiss,” Luke admitted in a voice so quiet that it was barely a whisper._ _

__Reggie wasn’t sure what to say. His mind was spinning too much to figure out what the right response should be. There was a sort of ecstasy that pulsed through his veins at the realization that nobody else had touched those lips yet. That Reggie go to be his first. It felt special. And Reggie wanted it to be more. Wanted Luke in every way. One of his best friends. One of the people who understood him in a way nobody else did._ _

__Luke with his electric energy. With his boundless passion. With his rousing speeches. Luke who Reggie had always loved the same way he'd always loved the others. Only now it felt like more. Now that they'd gotten closer. Now that he knew what it was like to have Luke's full focus on him. To have Luke's intensity aimed at him alone. He wanted to feel that every day._ _

__He tucked his head beneath Luke's chin this time and pressed his face to Luke's chest. He could hear his heart pounding beneath his ear. He listened as it began to calm, Luke starting to drift off. Reggie fell asleep to that hearbeat._ _

__When Reggie woke up in the morning he was sweating under the weight of Luke’s entire body sprawled over him. His mouth tasted gross but there was an undercurrent of cranberry and vodka. The exact same drink Luke had been downing all night. The taste was all it took to jump start the memory of his friend’s tongue in his mouth. Of the fierce emotions they'd experienced. Of the way the love he already had for Luke had started to expand and blossom in his chest._ _

__He looked down at Luke who was sleeping, drooling a little on Reggie’s shoulder, yet still undeniably cute. He ran his hands through his hair and as he watched Luke’s eyes fluttered open. He yawned and dragged himself up into a sitting position. Reggie missed his touch as soon as it left him._ _

__Alex was still peacefully asleep but Bobby was missing, most likely back in his house. It was just Luke and Reggie again. Just like last night._ _

__“Crazy night right?” Luke laughed._ _

__Reggie smiled back shyly. "Ya you could say that."_ _

__“I barely remember anything,” Luke continued. “I guess drinking isn’t for me. Pretty sure I never want to experience that again. Kind of freaky to wake up and realize there are blank spots in your memory. I'm definitely not a fan of that.”_ _

__Reggie's stomach dropped as his smile slid right off his face. He felt his hands start to shake and his eyes start to burn._ _

__“Ya,” he mumbled._ _

__“You ok?” Luke asked._ _

__Reggie wondered if Luke was only pretending not to remember. If he didn’t want to. If he was hoping this was the best way to just pretend their kiss never happened. Maybe he was trying to give Reggie an out. A way for Luke to reject him without having to embarrass him._ _

__This was even worse than the rejection from Alex after their kiss. His chest hurt so bad that he felt himself doubling over from the pain. He wondered if he was having a heart attack. Could a broken heart actually physically cause heart problems? Because it felt like it._ _

__“Woah, what’s wrong?”_ _

__Luke went to touch him but Reggie ripped himself away as if Luke's hands had burned him. It had certainly felt that way. The hands that had cradled his face last night now painful in their gentleness._ _

__“I need to go home,” he said mechanically. “My parents are probably wondering where I am.”_ _

__It was one of the worst lies he could have chosen. His parents definitely didn’t care where he was and everyone knew it. He was almost 100% certain that they hadn’t noticed he didn’t come home last night. Just like they didn’t notice that he spent at least two or more nights a week sleeping in the band’s garage. He wondered how long it would take them to notice if he went missing some day. Months probably._ _

__“Oh ok.”_ _

__Luke looked worried and confused but he didn’t call Reggie out on his lie. They stared at each other for a moment before Reggie rolled out of bed. He didn’t bother to change his clothes or grab his stuff, just slipped on his shoes and left. He didn’t know where he was going but he couldn’t be in that garage any longer._ _

__He was still a little bit in love with Alex and apparently he was a lot in love with Luke and his heart hurt so much he could barely breathe through the pain. He clutched his arms around himself as he broke down and cried. He had to stop doing this. Had to stop letting himself get crushed beneath the weight of his own heartbreak._ _

__His bandmates were his best friends. Closer to him than any family he'd ever had. And that meant the world to him. He shouldn't hope for anything other than that. It wasn't fair of him. And in the end it only hurt so much that he felt he couldn't bare it._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate hurting Reggie but I live for the angst.  
> Hope I didn't disappoint. If I lose patience again I might just post the next chapter tomorrow but we'll see how long I can hold out. I kind of wanted to give a bit of time between chapters but I started getting eager to update after seeing the good response I got! Thanks so much for reading!!!


	3. A Little Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me getting impatient again! You guys are awesome. Thanks for your comments and kuddos! I get all giddy with excitement each time a new comment comes in :)

Reggie had been avoiding Luke lately and everybody noticed. It’s not that they stopped hanging out or that he didn’t come to band practice. They still spent the same amount of time together as they did before. But there was something off now. Like an instrument that had gone out of tune. 

When Luke went to swing his arm around Reggie’s shoulders Reggie would shrug it off. When he tried to joke around with Reggie he’d get a fake smile in return. When Luke tried to get him alone he’d glue himself to Alex or Bobby. Everybody noticed the change and nobody but Reggie seemed to know what exactly was going on. 

Alex kept sending him these _looks_. Like he was bursting with questions but trying to be patient and let Reggie come to him first. And one night he almost told Alex everything but couldn’t stop thinking about Alex rejecting him when they were fourteen and comparing it to Luke’s rejection and it became a muddled mess of anxiety and fear of abandonment and he quickly clammed up and claimed he just wasn’t feeling well.

__Reggie didn’t think it would take Alex long to crack, corner him alone, and force the truth out of him but to his surprise it was Bobby who broke first._ _

__Bobby was the only one with a car. He usually drove them all to his house straight from school so they could jam out or hang out in the garage but a little over two weeks after the drunk kissing incident he took off as soon as Reggie was in the car after school, leaving the other two behind._ _

__Reggie wasn’t really sure what to think when Bobby pulled up to a pizza parlor and ushered him inside. They didn’t really hang out one on one. Either Alex, Luke, or both were usually there so this was a rare experience. He couldn’t help but stare as Bobby rattled off his order for him._ _

__Bobby had this swagger to him when he talked to anyone outside of the band. Like he was trying to be cool. And maybe to others he was? But Reggie knew how dorky he could be and the sight of him pushing back his hair and giving the waitress his flirty eyes just made Reggie want to break down in laughter. It was adorable. If Luke was with them he’d probably give Bobby a wet-willy, making him squirm and break character and they’d all dissolve into giggles._ _

__“So.” Bobby stared him down, one eyebrow raised._ _

__“So?” Reggie asked as if he had no idea what this was all about._ _

__“What happened with Luke?”_ _

__He cut straight to the chase. Reggie wanted to lie. To say that he had no idea what he was talking about. But Bobby looked deadly serious in a way that wasn’t usual for him. And that deep concern, that concrete emotion set in his dark eyes that made Reggie feel cared about, made secret spill out without him making the conscious decision to speak._ _

__“He kissed me,” he blurted out._ _

__That was obviously completely out of the realm of anything Bobby had been expecting. His eyes went wide._ _

__“What the fuck?” he said just as the waitress set down their pizza’s, throwing him a dirty look._ _

__Bobby snapped his mouth shut and gave her a weak smile but she was already walking away from the table._ _

__“When the hell did this happen,” he hissed._ _

__Reggie looked down in shame, avoiding his friend’s probing gaze. “That night we got drunk. The next morning he said that he didn’t remember anything from that night. I can’t tell if it’s true or if he’s trying to pretend it never happened. He was the one who kissed me.”_ _

__“So are you, like, gay? Is Luke gay? Is everyone in this band gay except me?”_ _

__Reggie groaned. “I’m bisexual. I have no idea about Luke. That’s not what’s important here Bobby! The point is that my best friend got drunk, kissed me, and then conveniently didn’t remember a thing the next day. It hurts ok. He keeps trying to act like nothing changed but whenever he gives me a friendly hug I’m suddenly thinking about his tongue down my throat and his hands all over me.”_ _

__Bobby winced a little. “Ok, more details than I needed.”_ _

__Reggie sighed. “You’re not helping.”_ _

__“I mean I you wanted good advice you probably should have gone to Alex,” Bobby admitted._ _

__Reggie threw his hands up. “You’re the one who dragged me here!”_ _

__“Ya,” Bobby shrugged. “I dunno, I thought you guys would have worked through whatever was bothering you but it’s been over two weeks and Alex still hadn’t done anything so I guess it was up to me.”_ _

__He was smiling kindly despite the flippancy of his words. A little awkwardly like he was trying to figure out what he was supposed to say in this situation but wasn’t totally sure of the right thing to do to make Reggie feel better. To be honest he didn’t think there was anything either Bobby or Alex could say to make him feel better. And he couldn’t stand to look at Luke for too long without it hurting._ _

__Reggie laughed a little. “I appreciate the sentiment.”_ _

__He decided to dig into his pizza. No use letting it sit there and get cold. They were quiet for a bit as they ate._ _

__“So,” Bobby finally said, obviously trying to keep thinks light. “Do you think I’ll have a gay experience soon? Seems to be happening with the rest of you.”_ _

__Reggie rolled his eyes. “Do you want to have a gay experience Bobby?”_ _

__To his surprise Bobby seemed to be considering it. “I’m pretty sure I’m 100% straight but I guess it would be kind of cool to at least give it a try.”_ _

__“Well I seem to be the gay kiss guinea pig so lay one on me.” Reggie threw his arms wide._ _

__Several heads turned their way. Bobby looked mortified._ _

__“How about you talk at a normal volume level,” he hissed._ _

__Reggie rolled his eyes. “Dude I’m offering you the best kiss of your life.”_ _

“I highly doubt that and it’s definitely not going to happen in _public_ you ass.”

____Reggie conceded that kissing a dude in public was social suicide. They scarfed the rest of their food down quickly. Bobby was eager to escape the weird stares they were getting and though he wouldn’t admit it Reggie was a little excited to kiss his friend. Maybe it would help him forget about Luke for a bit._ _ _ _

____When they left the pizza place Bobby drove them back to his house. The garage was empty and he locked the door behind them to make sure it stayed that way._ _ _ _

____“Ok so like, should we brush our teeth first or something?” Bobby asked nervously._ _ _ _

____Reggie couldn’t help but stare. Who asks that before kissing someone? He couldn’t imagine that going over well with any of the girls Bobby had gone out with. It felt the same as saying that Reggie had bad breath. Which, true because he’d just devoured half a pizza, but it still felt offensive somehow._ _ _ _

____“I mean I don’t care but if you really want to then sure.”_ _ _ _

____They use the little bathroom to brush their teeth. It all felt very strange. Both of his kisses with Alex and Luke had been spontaneous. Planning it out like this and knowing what was about to happen was weird and honestly super awkward._ _ _ _

____He sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. Bobby hesitantly sat down. Despite being the one to ask Reggie to do this he looked a little nauseous._ _ _ _

____“Dude you don’t have to kiss me,” Reggie said. This whole thing was starting to make him feel worse instead of better._ _ _ _

____“No, I need to at least give it a try. Get this out of my system,” Bobby said._ _ _ _

____Reggie wasn’t sure what exactly he meant by that but he slid a little closer to Bobby and put his hand on the back of his neck. The skin there was warm. Reggie gave him a little tug until they were face to face, noses almost touching._ _ _ _

____Bobby jolted forward with a clacking of teeth. Reggie winced pulling back._ _ _ _

____“Ug haven’t you kissed before man?”_ _ _ _

____“Uh ya… of course I have. I’ve kissed like, so many girls.”_ _ _ _

____Reggie’s eyebrows shot up. The way Bobby bragged he would have thought that he had dozens of girls locking lips with him. But the inexperience and nervous stuttering spoke for itself. Was Reggie seriously the first kiss of everyone in Sunset Curve? There was something thrilling about that._ _ _ _

“Look come here. _Gently_ ,” he emphasized.

____He pulled at the back of Bobby’s neck again and this time he took the lead, softly pressing his mouth to Bobby’s. Bobby immediately parted his lips and Reggie followed along, easing him into the kiss._ _ _ _

____It was different from Luke or Alex. There wasn’t that electric current under his skin. It was nice though. Comfortable. Bobby’s hands gripped the front of Reggie’s shirt, his movements carefully following along with Reggie’s._ _ _ _

____He felt confident. In control. _Reggie _was the one leading _Bobby _. It was a unique experience and it had him grinning into the kiss. He felt important right then. With Bobby’s full focus on him like this. He pressed closer, opening his mouth a little more, introducing tongue. Bobby obediently complied, doing the same._____ _ _ _

________They kissed for several minutes before pulling apart. Bobby looked a little stunned, eyes wide and lips still parted. He blinked a few times before his expression turned thoughtful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“That was nice,” he said. “I don’t think I’d want to do it again though.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Reggie’s smile dropped. This was a pattern now. Get kissed by one of his best friends. Get rejected by said friend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He hadn’t expected Bobby to have a sudden gay awakening. He wasn’t sure what he expected really. This situation was definitely the most likely outcome though, now that he let himself really think about it. He’d gone into this knowing Bobby was straight. So he wasn’t sure why his stomach hurt at those words. This whole thing had been weird and awkward and bad for his self-esteem. How did he even end up here? He wished he could just take it all back. He suddenly, desperately wanted to see Alex and Luke. Wanted to squeeze himself between them and let himself be cuddled. He didn't love Bobby quite the way he loved them but his rejection still stung._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He tried to tug his lips into a joking smile. “Guess that was your first and last gay experience then?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bobby laughed a little. “Guess so. Thanks for going along with it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey that’s what I’m for apparently.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was a tinge of bitterness to his tone that he couldn’t quite cover up. Before Bobby could say anything about it they were interrupted by the garage doors shaking as someone tried to enter, followed by heaving knocking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey! What are you guys doing!” Alex hollered from the other side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Let us innnnnnn,” Luke called._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bobby stood up to unlock the doors. Reggie took a deep breath, plastered a smile on his face, and jumped up to go greet the rest of his band._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________If he clung to Alex a little more than usual the others kindly didn’t mention it. His heart wasn’t into band practice and everyone realized it pretty quickly so they wrapped up early. Alex quietly asked if Reggie wanted him to stay and he was quick to nod his agreement, not ready to let go of the grip he had on his friend’s arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Alex waved the other two off. Both of them hesitated, shooting Reggie looks of concern but Alex’s expression was pretty firm and they both left the garage, though they didn’t look happy about it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Come here,” his friend murmured, pulling Reggie down onto the couch. “Are you ready to tell me what’s going on?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He trembled, his hands twisting in Alex’s hoodie as he contemplated what to say. The blonde boy pulled him close, rubbing his back gently. He didn’t usually keep secrets like this. Not from Alex. Not from the best friend he’d grown up with his entire life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I kissed Luke and Bobby,” he quietly admitted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Alex froze for a moment before tightening his hug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh Reg,” he murmured._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The gentleness in his voice was enough to get the tears going. Reggie choked a little on a sob. He buried his face in the front of Alex’s hoodie and started to cry. His friend made soothing noises as he held him tightly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I love Luke,” Reggie sobbed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know,” Alex said softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I love you too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Reggie jerked back. “You do?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re not subtle Reg,” Alex said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Reggie was surprised to see that Alex’s eyes were welling up with tears too. He wasn’t sure what that meant. That Alex had known all this time and never said a thing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I love you too,” Alex told him. “I know you love Luke. Though I admit you and Bobby kissing was completely unexpected… But I know you love Luke more than anyone. I can see it in the way you look at him. I’m not surprised you guys ended up kissing. I know you care about me both romantically and a friend. But Reg, I could never compare to Luke and I know that. You’d still be looking at him like he hung the moon. I know you would. Even if you tried not to. And honestly I wouldn’t blame you. Because I get it. Who _isn’t_ a little in love with Luke? Pretty sure everyone he meets falls for him at least a little bit.”

________Reggie was in shock. Alex had known all along. And he was right. Reggie couldn’t just make himself forget the way he felt about Luke. He wouldn’t be able to be with Alex fully, not the way that the other boy wanted, not the way that he deserved. Part of his heart would always be with Luke._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You need to talk to him,” Alex said. He looked tired as he rubbed the tears out of his eyes. “You can’t just keep dancing around him like this. It’s hurting him and you and it’s hurting me to watch.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I can’t,” Reggie whispered. “Alex if he rejects me again I don’t know if I can recover from that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And half ignoring him for the rest of your lives will make everything better? You don’t even know if he’ll reject you. Please, for all of our sakes, just talk to him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“After the Orpheum,” Reggie said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“That’s a month away,” Alex reminded him gently._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know but I need that time to get myself together. To make sure I won’t fall apart if he tells me he doesn’t like me that way. And just imagine how we’ll be after that show. Pumped up and excited and on top of the world. It’ll be so much easier to confess like that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If you do that you’ll have to pull yourself together enough that the band can practice and actually make it to the Orpheum without falling apart. I’ll help you. Whatever you need. You’ll get through this Reg.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re right,” Reggie said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Alex relaxed now that he’d said all he needed to. “Come here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He held his arms out and Reggie burrowed back into them. He felt safe. He felt cared for. He wished things were different. He wished he could be what Alex wanted. He was scared about Luke turning him down. Or pointing out the same thing that Alex had. Reggie’s heart would always be torn in two directions._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________For now though he let himself relax against Alex, simultaneously looking forward to and dreading their Orpheum performance._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uggg I hate hurting everyone.  
> Expect the next chapter Friday or Saturday. I'm looking over it again and have decided that it needs fixed up a little before I post it.  
> Thanks for reading!


	4. And Twist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today kind of sucked so here I am putting out the next chapter already. Thanks again for all of your support. It's what motivates me! I really appreciate all of the comments and kudos :)

Reggie didn’t get the chance to resolve things with Luke. He had plans to clear everything up between them after the Orpheum show. But that hadn’t happened. 

Because they died.

It was awful. It was painful and messy and horrifying to go through. And worst of all was watching Luke and Alex suffer. Watching Luke vomiting blood, bending over in agony and choking on it. His mouth stained crimson. Watching Alex seizing on the ground, skin deathly pale. 

Reggie was selfishly happy to be the first to go. He couldn’t imagine the agony of watching the others die. That awful position went to Luke, the last one to go. When Reggie left their hearts were still beating. But it didn’t take long for them to join him in the dark room. 

He had wondered after a while if he was in hell. He’d thought it would be all fire and brimstone. But this cold empty darkness was worse. He could hear Alex crying quietly but couldn’t tell what direction it was coming from. He knew his friends were there but he couldn't see them. The darkness was so thick and absolute that he couldn’t even see his own hands in front of him. Or maybe he didn’t have hands. Maybe he didn’t have a body. Maybe he was just a lost consciousness hovering in purgatory. 

He was falling into a spiral of madness and fear. Then Luke’s voice broke through the stillness. Raw and excited and _alive_. Their band’s music flooding everything with life. He had begun to lose his mind but the sound of that familiar song brought him back to himself. Reminded him who he was. And quite suddenly he was falling straight into their old studio.

Alex and Luke were with him. They were _there_. They still existed. They all still existed.

He almost didn’t notice the girl in front of them despite her screaming. _Because he was with the two people he loved most in the world_. Because he could see them again. He’d started to lose hope in that dark place. And suddenly his world had light again.

Things were a whirlwind from there. Forming a band with Julie. Alex finding Willie. Willie introducing them to Caleb who tried to destroy them. Playing the Orpheum the way they’d always wanted to. Julie curing them with the power of friendship. It was… a lot. 

So, now they weren’t Sunset Curve anymore. They were Julie and the Phantoms. Bobby was out of the picture. And his betrayal stung deeply.

He remembered the way Bobby’s face lit up when he played with them. Remembered the nights they spent all piled together on the pull out bed. Remembered him getting in fist fights in defense of Reggie. Remembered kissing him. Remembered Bobby’s hands gripping the front of Reggie’s shirt as their mouths moved together. So ya. The fact that Bobby brushed them aside, claimed their music as his own, and pretended they had never existed hurt like hell.

He was dealing with it though. He was dealing with this whole dying thing the best that he could really. And still getting to play music with his boys and with Julie was pretty amazing.

He didn’t feel like he had time to sit Luke down and discuss their relationship though. Not with how insane everything had been.

He’d considered for a moment. When Luke had been trying to prove that he had chemistry with everyone he sang with. When he’d gripped the back of Reggie’s head, forced him to stare Luke right in the eyes and followed up with an almost kiss. Reggie thought he was going to die again. Alex teased a bit, but he looked sad the moment he thought neither of them were looking at him anymore. It made Reggie’s heart ache.

He felt like it had to be visible to everyone that they there was _something_ between them when they performed. When he’d jump across the stage to Luke’s mic to sing. They’d get even closer than Luke would with Julie. Noses only an inch apart. So close that they were breathing the same air. That he could feel the heat radiating off of Luke. Could see the sweat plastering his hair to his forehead and the shine in his eyes and way his fingers flew across his guitar strings. Their ghostly bodies still mimicking life despite being dead.

Reggie was still in love no matter how much he tried to tell himself otherwise.

He kind of hated it.

He cared so deeply that it hurt sometimes. But he was used to hurting. It was how he’d lived his whole life. 

His friends never loved him quite the way he loved them. He wasn’t anyone’s favorite. He knew that. He always gave too much of himself. He didn’t know how to hold back. He loved and loved and loved and all it did was hurt him. But he didn’t know how to make himself stop.

Reggie had never kissed a girl before. It was strange to think about but he was 17 years old (the last 25 years didn’t really count) and had kissed a total of three people in his life, all of which were his bandmates.

One day, a few days after the whole curse lifting thing he found himself alone in the garage, sitting on the couch, pencil and notebook in hand. He wasn’t totally sure where the other two were but he could make a few likely guesses.

Luke was probably at his parent’s place. He hated that Luke tortured himself like that. But he knew that it helped in some ways. They’d been happier since Julie had given them Unsaid Emily. Luke didn’t come back with eyes swollen from crying anymore. 

Alex was probably looking for Willie. Reggie knew that it was absolutely terrible of him to think but he was kind of _glad _that Willie had disappeared. It was his fault they’d been stamped by Caleb in the first place. It was him that brought them to his attention.__

____

____

He’d also admit that he was jealous. Willie was an outsider. He didn’t belong with them. And seeing Alex’s heart eyes aimed at someone else made Reggie’s a little bitter. He wanted to be happy for Alex. Wanted to be glad that he’d found someone who could like him romantically fully and completely. He acted like he was happy for Alex. But he hurt so much it made him sick.

“Hey.

He jumped violently when Julie seemed to appear over his shoulder. She leaned forward to look at the notebook spread over his lap and hooked her chin over his shoulder, their cheeks pressed together. He froze in shock. He was still getting used to her being able to touch him. It was like a miracle every time it happened. And this sudden intimate contact was almost too much for him.

__“You write music?” she asked._ _

__“Ya,” he said quietly. “I guess. Not the way you and Luke do though. I’m just messing around.”_ _

__“Just because it’s not Julie and The Phantoms’ style doesn’t mean it’s not good,” she countered._ _

__He shrugged. It was a little embarrassing for her to see. Luke always took his songs as a joke. Not in a malicious way. He was sure Luke legitimately thought that Reggie was just messing around._ _

__“That’s some intense banjo music,” Julie said. “I remember you mentioning that you played but I’m pretty sure I’ve never actually heard it.”_ _

__“Oh, uh nope pretty sure you haven’t. The guys think it’s kind of annoying. So I usually only play when I’m alone.”_ _

__“That’s too bad. You should show me a bit! These lyrics are seriously good.”_ _

__He hesitated. “You think so?”_ _

She pulled away from him and walked around the couch to sit next to him instead. He let her pick up the song and look it over up close. To his surprise she took a deep breath and started to sing the lyrics out loud.

_“Touch my mouth and hold my tongue  
I’ll never be your chosen one  
I’ll be home, safe and tucked away  
Well you can’t tempt me if I don’t see the day”_

__He shivered a little at the sound of his words on her tongue. To hear his song out loud, not just mumbled to himself, was thrilling._ _

__“We should play this!” She said enthusiastically. “We can jam out. I’d love to sing this, it’s seriously amazing stuff. And you can show me how you shred on the banjo.”_ _

__He could feel a giddy grin break out across his face. “Ok!”_ _

__He barely had to think about it before the instrument appeared in his hands. She moved over to the piano to play the piano parts he’d written in and he followed along, standing over her shoulder. Despite the heavy emotion he’d put in the song he couldn’t help but smile wide as he plucked at the strings of his banjo in a way he rarely showed anyone else._ _

_“But Oh, my heart was flawed  
I knew my weakness  
So hold my hand  
Consign me not to darkness.”_

The lyrics paused, jumping into a frantic banjo solo with piano accompaniment. He moved a little closer with every word until he was sitting next to her on the piano bench. Julie flashed him a grin as she continued to sing. She flushed a little when she got to the curse word in the chorus but to Reggie’s surprise she sang it, stuttering a little but pushing on strongly. They finished the song with Julie’s voice and Reggie’s fingers strumming so softly that the banjo was almost inaudible.

_“But in this twilight,  
Our choices seal our fate.”_

The sudden silence was heavy. Her fingers left the piano keys. His banjo disappeared from his hands. He was suddenly aware of how close they were. He’d moved towards her the further into the song they’d gotten, drawn in by the music, and had ended up pressed up against one another.

__Julie turned her head towards him. He never felt more alive than when he was in her presence. Whatever power she had made them stronger when they were close to her. He felt it. They all did._ _

__“Reggie,” she said softly._ _

__“Ya?”_ _

__“I have something to ask you. And you can say no and I won’t be upset by it.”_ _

__He got a weird sense of déjà vu._ _

__“Uh sure, what is it?”_ _

__“I haven’t had my first kiss or even my first date yet,” she admitted. “You’re one of my best friends. I trust you. You’re cute and fun and reliable and I’d really like for you to be my first kiss?”_ _

__Reggie really was going to end up being the first kiss for every bandmate wasn’t he?_ _

__“Why me?” he asked._ _

__“Alex is gay and I just feel weird about kissing Luke. Like it would somehow affect our friendship even if we promised that it wouldn’t. You don’t have to kiss me if it’s weird.”_ _

__“It’s not that I don’t want to but why now?” Reggie wondered._ _

__“So uh…” she looked a little embarrassed. “I’m kind of into Carrie? But she’s really experienced with dating and kissing and it’s really intimidating. I don’t want to embarrass myself if I ever did get to that point with her you know?”_ _

__“Carrie?” Reggie asked incredulously. “You mean demon queen, hates your guts, Bobby’s daughter Carrie?”_ _

Julie laughed. “Yes? She doesn’t really hate my guts though. We’ve been best friends our whole lives until this last year. But we finally sat down and actually talked things out yesterday. We definitely aren’t at a point where I’d want to ask her out yet, pretty sure that’s a long ways away, but I think we’ll get there eventually? At least I hope so. I had the _biggest_ crush on her before our falling out and it’s kind of been rekindled.”

__“Alright I’ll do it,” Reggie decided. “I mean why not? I’m apparently very kissable.”_ _

__She raised her eyebrows curiously. He waved it off._ _

__“Nevermind. Let’s do this.”_ _

__“So uh, what do I do?”_ _

__He took her arms and put them around his shoulders. She went with it easily, winding them around his neck. He cupped her face in his hands. She looked up at him trustingly. He leaned forward and kissed her._ _

There was no zing, no spark. But it was nice. She was a little hesitant and unsure but despite this being her first kiss she seemed to know what to do. None of the fumbling or awkwardness he’d had with his other experiences. It was a soft kiss. Gentle and comfortable. And when they pulled apart she was smiling. He couldn’t help but smile back.

__“So how did I do?” she asked._ _

__“Great. Ten out of ten. You’re going to blow Carrie away with your mad kissing skills.”_ _

__Julie snorted and giggled. He laughed along with her. He felt light and it was totally unexpected. He had gotten so used to the pain of rejection that came with each kiss he had. But this didn’t feel like a rejection. Because the kiss didn’t feel like the same kind of emotional exchange that the others had. He loved Julie but he wasn’t in love with her. Not even a little bit. And he was happy to come to that realization._ _

__When Alex and Luke returned from whatever they’d been doing it was to find Julie and Reggie dramatically reenacting musical numbers and grading each other on their performances. The rest of the day was spent mocking Luke’s acting abilities while he pouted and giving Alex the highest ratings for his impressive dancing skills._ _

__The whole time Reggie was stuck on the fact that he’d finally had a kiss that didn’t leave a bad taste in his mouth. Maybe someday it could be like that with someone he was in love with. A relationship full of happy kisses that left his heart fluttering instead of breaking. Someday…_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I keep rewriting scenes in the last chapter over and over again. I just can't get myself to decide between Reggie/Luke and Alex/Reggie/Luke. Soooo vote in the comments to let me know what you think I should end with?
> 
> Also I LOVE WILLIE. I love his character and the fact that we get gay representation in this show. He and Alex are absolutely adorable. But for the sake of plot Reggie just doesn't like him in this story because he's jealous and it's coloring all of his opinions.


	5. Baby This Is It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I hope that it isn't too weird that I had Luke's POV for the first half of the chapter. I just wanted to give a little perspective on how he felt on everything. I hope I did ok at it?  
> The votes between the final pairing were pretty divided so I'm really nervous posting this. Hope it's still enjoyable either way.

It had always been agreed upon between Luke, Alex, and Bobby that Reggie needed protecting. He felt too much too deeply. Luke was always terrified that someday he’d do something stupid and break Reggie to pieces.

All of them had their problems of course. Luke and his parents fought about his plans for the future. Alex’s parents grew cold and often cruel after he came out. And Reggie’s parents didn’t seem to ever physically hit him but the emotional damage was deep. He was touch starved. Codependent in an almost unhealthy way. He got no attention at home to the point that it was outright child neglect. It left him desperate for scraps of care, for the slightest bit of love. It made him so fragile.

Luke was in love with him before he even knew what love meant. It had started off slowly but the closer they got the stronger Luke felt and one day he woke up and realized that he was madly in love and had been for some time. 

He’d always been touchy with the guys but with Reggie it meant something different. Because Reggie sunk into hugs like he needed them to survive. Because he nearly purred like a content kitten when one of them ran their fingers through his hair. Because touching Reggie made him feel _wanted. Needed. Special._

He wasn’t sure if Alex or Bobby noticed. If they did they never said anything. Bobby wasn’t quite as tactile but Alex was nearly as touchy as Luke was. Reggie was always clinging to his pink hoodies and curling up against him like Alex was his safe haven. Luke thought that maybe he was supposed to be jealous but he wasn’t. It made him happy to see his boys so content.

Luke knew nothing would come from his crush on Reggie. It was forever meant to be unrequited. He talked about girls sometimes, made up stuff he didn’t really think, just rambled to get a feel for how Reggie would react. Alex had never joined in those conversations which, looking back, was pretty telling. But Reggie could wax poetic about a girl’s hair for five minutes straight. Ha. Straight. Because that’s exactly what Reggie was.

Luke wasn’t sure what his own sexuality was. He didn’t understand how Bobby could be head over heels for some girl he’d never even spoken to. He didn’t notice them really. He supposed he could tell from an outside standpoint when someone was attractive, he just didn’t feel attracted to them himself. He would have thought he was gay except he felt that way about guys too. There was a disconnect. 

For some reason Alex and Reggie were different. He couldn’t figure out why he was only attracted to his best friends and nobody else. It didn’t seem normal. He wasn’t even sure where he should look for answers to that. So he didn’t try. He just accepted it as the way he was. He was just wired a differently than anyone else.

His feelings for Alex snuck up on him differently than the ones he had for Reggie. He was attracted to Alex as well. Like _really_ attracted to him to the point that it became almost as much of a problem as Reggie. Because Alex was into guys. But it was obvious the way Alex looked at Reggie that his heart was somewhere else. Alex didn’t seem to be interested in Luke like that. 

So Luke liked Alex, and Luke liked Reggie, and neither of them were into him in that way. But it was ok. Because they were his best friends first and crushes second. And even if they didn’t kiss or go on dates or profess their love for one another it didn’t really matter. His romantic feelings were more of a fantasy. Something out of reach. And he was more than happy with the way things were because their friendship meant the world to him.

When they were sixteen Luke did what he was always worried about. He cracked something in Reggie.

Luke knew the stereotypes about rock bands. The drugs and the booze and the sex. But funnily enough Sunset Curve wasn’t into any of that. They were pretty clean for the industry they were trying to make it in. So when Bobby had appeared with vodka and rum one night he’d been wary. But curious. Curious why it was such a thing. What all the hype about drinking was. He told himself he’d let it happen one time. He was in a safe environment with his best friends. And Alex wasn’t even drinking, volunteering himself to babysit them.

So Luke let go. He let go a little too much.

The next morning he opened his eyes and felt off. He’d tried to nudge Reggie into talking about whatever had happened the night before but received cold brief answers followed by tears. When Reggie started to cry Luke’s heart dropped. He’d spat out a lie about his parents wondering where he was and practically ran out the door.

After he left Luke realized that he’d fucked up. He’d fucked up bad. He wasn’t sure what he’d done but he’d hurt his best friend. And that moment he swore off alcohol forever. His first and last time drinking. Because apparently he couldn’t trust himself around Reggie when his filters were all removed. He desperately wracked his brain for what he could have done that night. But asking Bobby and Alex had given him no answers and asking Reggie was out of the question. Because Reggie wasn’t even talking to him. 

Luke wondered if he’d confessed. Said something stupid. Tried to kiss Reggie. He wasn’t sure but whatever it was had created a chasm between them. Those cracked pieces were never fully repaired but eventually Reggie seemed to slowly try to move past whatever it was that Luke had done.

And then they died.

He never really told Julie exactly what Alex and Reggie meant to him. But he had notebooks full of sappy love songs dedicated to them both separately and together. Luke’s dreams of them trading kisses and dancing together and whispering how much they loved one another while they were all curled up in the same bed at night.

She’d found one of the songs. He’d quietly admitted that this one was about Reggie and she’d sang the lyrics out loud while he chased her around trying to snatch it out of her hands.

_“And you're charming  
You're so god damn charming  
And I can’t get you out of my head  
Can't get you out of my head  
And the best things  
Oh the best things are  
Those things that you can't seem to ever forget  
Can't seem to ever forget  
And you’re stuck in my head”_

She’d smiled him all giddy and bright when she’d sung the whole thing. A simple fluffy love song, so unlike most of the things he wrote. Honestly the relief of having somebody else know was worth the friendly teasing. 

He’d felt stung when she’d admitted that she and Reggie had kissed a week prior. But she assured him that it hadn’t meant anything romantic. He believed her of course, but he wished that Reggie had told him about it. He wondered if there was anything else Reggie had kept a secret. He wondered if there had ever been anything between Reggie and Alex. Because he’d seen how the blonde boy used to look at Reggie. But now it seemed to be Reggie doing the looking. Or maybe Reggie had always looked at him that way and Luke had never noticed.

Luke was happy that Alex had Willie. It made his heart sing to watch the way his face lit up when he talked about his new ‘ghost friend’. But while Reggie looked like he was trying his hardest to be accepting it was obvious it was a struggle.

Luke supposed he wasn’t too surprised. Reggie had deep seated abandonment issues. Seeing Alex with an outsider had probably sent him into a bit of a spiral. He tried to spend more time with Reggie to show him that the band wasn’t going anywhere. That he was loved and needed. But there was still something not quite right between Luke and Reggie. It wasn’t obvious anymore but he could still feel it. And he wasn’t sure what it was. But maybe it was time to finally fix it.

“Hey Reg. Can we talk?”

Reggie was messing around with a few chords on his bass but he paused and looked up at Luke’s request.

“Sure, go for it.”

“I mean _alone,_ ” he clarified.

Reggie looked hesitant. He shot a look at Alex who was drawing, something to keep his hands and mind busy. He was staring down at his sketchpad and missed Reggie’s look entirely. Reggie frowned a little as he looked back at Luke, but gave him a nod.

“Let’s go to the beach,” Luke suggested.

They blinked out, appearing on the beach. It was sunny with plenty of people out and about playing Frisbee and building sandcastles. 

“So what’s up?” Reggie asked as they settled onto a nearby bench.

Luke watched him for a moment. His shoulders were tensed as if he was waiting for something bad to happen and was preparing himself for the blow. It made Luke sad to see Reggie feel as though he had to react that way around him. He sat up straight, determined to get to the bottom of what was going on and mend these cracks between them.

“Something happened a couple of months before we… died. I’ve been avoiding it for so long because I didn’t know what happened or what to say but I want to fix it.”

Reggie didn’t speak for a moment, picking at the zipper of his jacket.

“You really don’t remember?” he finally asked quietly.

“No,” Luke said desperately. “Believe me I wish I did. I’ve been going out of my mind ever since that day, wondering what it was that I did when I was drunk that would have hurt you so much. Whatever it is I’m sorry. I want to make it right.”

Reggie’s hands were shaking. Luke wanted to reach out and hold them but he was afraid that it would scare Reggie away. Right now was probably not the best moment for that.

“You kissed me,” he finally said. “I thought you were lying when you said you didn’t remember. I thought that you just wanted to pretend it never happened.”

So Luke had been right. He’d been too pushy. He had never really planned on confessing to either Reggie or Alex. But if he did he had always fantasized about making the moment beautiful and romantic and a little sappy. A drunken kiss smacked onto a startled Reggie that Luke couldn’t even remember was the worst think that he could imagine.

“No! God Reggie. I’m sorry for doing that. I would never want to force my feelings on you like that. I shouldn’t have let myself drink so much. It was irresponsible.”

“Your feelings for me?”

Reggie finally looked up. His gaze burning. Luke gathered up all of his courage to reply. To tell him what he’d felt for so many years.

“Ya,” his voice cracked. “I’m crazy in love with you.”

Reggie looked like he’d been hit over the head with a guitar. He blinked several times in a row, mouth hanging open.

“But you’re.. I thought… you’re straight,” Reggie stuttered.

Luke couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. “Well that’s news to me.”

“Oh my god I should have told you years ago. I’m crazy in love with you too.”

It was Luke’s turn to gape in shock.

“You are??” he blurted out.

“Luke. I literally told you to your face that it was hot when you were trying to prove our ‘chemistry’.”

“I thought you were joking!” Luke protested.

Though maybe he’d been blind. He thought of the intensity of Reggie’s eyes. The startled expression when Luke had kissed his fingers and pressed them to his lips. The way Luke had fought to stay calm and casual afterwards, avoiding Alex’s gaze for fear of what he’d find there. 

“I’ve kissed every member band! I’m like the gay kiss guinea pig!”

That meant he’d kissed Alex. Now that was an image Luke wouldn’t be able to get out of his head. It sent a shiver of want up his spine. He wish he’d been there to see it. But then the full implication of those words hit him.

“What? When you say every member do you mean…”

“Yes Luke. Even Bobby.”

Luke was stunned. “Did he say ‘no homo’ afterwards? He seems like the guy that would say ‘no homo’ after making out with another dude.”

Reggie burst into nervous laughter. “Why are we talking about Bobby’s straightness right now?”

“I have no idea,” Luke said. “I think I’m still trying to process this entire conversation.”

“Do you really mean it?” Reggie asked desperately. “You’re not just saying all of this to make me feel better are you?”

Luke stepped forward and cradled Reggie’s face with both hands. He looked him dead in the eyes, trying to put as much emotion into his look as possible.

“Reggie. I love you. I’m in love with you. I want to kiss you and take you on dates and be with you for the rest of forever. I mean it. I promise.”

Tears began to streak down Reggie’s face. He reached up to cover Luke’s hands with his own.

“Thank you,” he said. “I never thought you’d feel the same.”

Luke tipped his head forward, touching their foreheads together.

“You, me, and Alex. Forever, remember?”

Reggie suddenly looked unsure. He pulled away a little. His hands dropped, though Luke’s stayed, holding his face in his hands.

“About Alex. I’m in love with him too. Have been for years. We were each other’s first kisses when we were fourteen and I realized how I felt after that. That I wanted to kiss him every day for the rest of our lives. He cared about me too. But he knew I had feelings for you too and worried that I would always be torn between you guys. I understand if you don’t want to be with me because of that. I don’t know how to make myself stop feeling that way for him.”

Reggie was beginning to ramble. Luke found it endearing though he didn’t like the certainty with which the other boy seemed to think Luke would dump him for this. Luke understood how he felt all too well.

“Hey.” He squished Reggie’s face between his hands, making him quiet. “It’s ok. I love him too. I love both of you. It’s one of the reasons I couldn’t get myself to confess to him, even when he came out. Because of how strongly I felt about you. And because he seemed to be head over heels for you too.”

Reggie’s laugh was a little hysterical. He pushed Luke’s hands off his face so that he could talk properly. “Let me get this right. I love you and Alex. You love me and Alex. And now we’ve lost him to Willie.”

Luke sighed. “We didn’t lose him babe.”

Reggie flushed bright red at the pet name. Luke felt deeply satisfied at that.

“We’ve proven right here, right now, that you can be in love with multiple people at once. Who’s to say he doesn’t feel that way for you anymore? Who’s to say he can’t date us and Willie?”

“But if Willie doesn’t agree…” 

Reggie looked like he was afraid to believe it was even a possibility. Luke wanted to cuddle him close and tell him over and over again how much he was loved. 

“Well we won’t know until we ask will we?”

He took Reggie’s hand in his and poofed them back to the garage. Alex looked up from his sketchbook. He zeroed in on their intertwined hands immediately. His face seemed to go through some complicated emotions before settling on a small smile.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reggie felt as though he was dreaming. He’d been mildly terrified when Luke had wanted to talk to him alone. But instead it had cleared up everything between them.

Luke was in love with him.

It sounded too good to be true. Yet here he was. Hand in hand with Luke. About to confess everything to Alex. All of this hidden feelings and sad looks were about to be thrown out into the open. No more secrets. He was scared but it was a huge relief too. He was tired of suffering in silence. And with Luke by his side he felt like he could do anything.

Alex had noticed their hands as soon as they arrived. At the sad smile he gave them Reggie almost wanted to let go. Anything to take away Alex’s pain.

Luckily Luke was blunt.

“Reggie and I confessed that we’re in love with one another.”

“That’s great. I’m happy for y…”

He cut off Alex’s sad little congratulations mid-sentence.

“We’re both in love with you too.”

Alex froze. Reggie watched nervously. He resisted the urge to step back and hide behind Luke. Afraid of what Alex was going to say. Afraid that they were hurting him. He was so tired of unintentionally hurting Alex. Alex deserved everything good in the world.

He was fiddling with his pencil, tapping it frantically on his paper like he was trying to piece together what to say in his head. His leg began to jiggle up and down like he ached to stand up and start pacing.

“Is this a joke?”

Luke opened his mouth to speak but Reggie beat him to it.

“No! You know me Alex. You _know_ I’ve been in love with you. That I’ve never stopped loving you. You kept assuming that I loved Luke more than you but I don’t. I just love him different. Not more or less. I’m so in love with you that it hurts. I don’t want either of us to hurt anymore.”

“What about Willie?” Alex’s voice was soft, scared.

Reggie realized just how jealous he’d been of Willie. Because with Reggie and Alex it had been this pining dragged over several years. These emotions that had only been half discussed and then buried the best they could be. It was this yawning emptiness where the joy of love should be. From the very start their love had been a painful thing. Not that he regretted a single second of it. Not that he could ever possibly regret loving Alex.

And while the romantic love had been painful he’d still loved Alex as a friend. And that friendship had been a rock solid foundation for all of them. The reason they were all still together. They were so close that even in death they couldn’t be separated.

But, looking back on how their romantic feelings had made them both suffer, maybe that’s the real reason he’d been so jealous of Willie. Because Alex got the cute fluffy, flirty relationship that he deserved. Because he’d be smiling ear to ear after spending time with Willie. Because his feelings for Willie made him happy. 

Reggie didn’t want to take that away from him. Forcing Alex to choose between them and Willie would be cruel. Because Alex would choose them every time. And he would be tearing himself apart to do so. And a bitter part of him would always resent them for it. Reggie didn’t want to be the cause of Alex’s pain anymore. He’d never wanted that. The idea of it made his chest hurt.

“We’ll find Willie,” he said.

The absolute certainty in his voice had Alex whipping his head up. Their eyes met, Reggie’s firm and decided. Alex’s shining with hope. 

“And when we do you’re going to tell him exactly how you feel. And you’re going to give him the best kiss of his life! Or… death. Er, his existence,” Reggie fumbled a little with the phrasing.

Alex laughed in pure relief. “God I love you.” 

Reggie smiled. “And if Willie is ok with it I want you to have all of us. Him and me and Luke. Because you deserve all of the love you can get.”

Luke squeezed his hand and gave him a soft, proud look.

Alex started to cry. For a moment there was a wild panic. A fear that he’d said the wrong thing. That, despite his best intentions, he’d ended up hurting Alex anyways. But when he looked up he was smiling. He stumbled forward and practically fell on Luke and Reggie, hooking an arm around each of their necks.

“You guys are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The most literal embodiment of ride-or-die. There’s nobody else I’d rather spend the rest of my existence with.”

He pulled Reggie’s head towards him and kissed him hard on the mouth. He could feel Luke, with Alex’s arm still around his neck, put his own arm around Reggie’s waist in a sort of group hug. Luke was practically holding him up from the force of Alex’s kiss. 

It wasn’t quite like their first time. Two giddy fourteen year olds sharing a secret first kiss in this very garage, leaving Reggie heartbroken and confused after. No. This kiss was _explosive_. All of their pent up feelings for one another out in the open and flowing into their passionate kiss. It was still the same Alex though. Still that silky blond hair and that smell of mint and vanilla that hadn’t left him, even in death. 

Alex’s arms dropped from around them so that he could move to grip Reggie’s hips, helping Luke in keeping him standing. His hands slipped under his shirt, thumb stroking just above the band of his pants. Reggie’s hands gripped Alex’s hair and pulled eliciting a groan that made him hot all over.

When Alex pulled back Reggie felt like he’d literally been kissed stupid. He was disoriented. Swept up in the pull of the other boy. Still standing only through the grace of Luke’s arm around him and Alex’ hands on his hips.

Alex didn’t hesitate before turning to Luke. Reggie had noticed that Luke hadn’t said as much to Alex as Reggie had. Perhaps he realized that they needed desperately to say the things they had. But Reggie was determined to make sure those two had a proper talk about their feelings for one another as well.

Alex’s kiss said a lot though. It was just as intense as the one with Reggie had been. Luke’s arm tightened around Reggie and he gave a little whine, leaning against his shoulder to watch the other two kiss. It was _hot_. Tongues licking into each other’s mouths, teeth tugging at lips. Luke’s free hand coming up to cup the back of Alex’s head and pull him closer. Reggie felt need pool in his stomach.

When they pulled apart, gasping for breath, he grabbed Luke’s face and pulled it down to his. Their second kiss. First one fully sober. And it had him desperate and wanting. He felt Alex’s lips on his neck and felt as though his chest would explode with pure joy. This was better than anything he’d imagined. 

When Alex’s teeth nipped at his collarbone he squirmed, panting heavily, and felt Luke smirk against his mouth. When he pulled back they all looked at one another. Gasping for air they technically didn’t need. Hair mused and faces flushed. Reggie wondered how exactly he looked because the other two looked destroyed.

Luke gave a little whoop of joy. He smacked another kiss on Reggie’s mouth then let him go to wrestle Alex into a headlock. It wasn’t hard considering how dazed he was. Reggie snorted with laughter as Alex shoved Luke off and rolled his eyes.

“So are we all boyfriends now?” Reggie asked hopefully.

“Hell ya!” Luke said. “We better be after that. That was _hot_.”

Alex, still pretty flustered, nodded. “Y-ya. I’d like that. A lot.”

“Alright!” Luke gave a good hard pat on the back before swinging his arm over Alex’s shoulders. “Let’s go get your man!”

Alex perked up. “Really? We’re going to go look for Willie?”

Reggie moved to Alex’s other side and tucked his arm around his waist, nuzzling his face against Alex’s cheek. 

“Of course. I said we would didn’t I?”

Julie chose that moment to burst into the garage. “Reggie you’ll never guess what Carrie said to me today!!!”

“This band is so gay,” Reggie said. “So very gay.”

She burst into laughter when she saw the guys holding each other, grinning wide.

“I’m guessing you all figured out your feelings?”

“You knew?” Reggie asked.

She shrugged and glanced over at Luke. “You guys are pretty obvious.” 

“Speaking of gay,” Luke quickly interrupted. “Julie, I wanted to see if you could help me out with some questions I had about my sexuality. Now that they have google and stuff I thought it might help figure out what’s wrong with me?”

“I highly doubt there’s anything wrong with you,” Julie said. “But sure, let’s see what’s up.”

They gathered around Julie sat down at her computer. It didn’t take much googling to come up with results. Luke seemed ecstatic that he wasn’t the only one who felt the way that he did. That there was a whole label for it. Demisexual.

All of the revelations that day had them all a bit emotionally exhausted. Still, they'd promised Alex to help him search for Willie so they did. Hunting down every ghost they could find, trying to see where the skater had disappeared to. But they came home empty handed and disappointed. Reggie and Luke stuffed Alex between them and ended up curling up together and watching a movie with Julie, Flynn, and to everyone’s surprise, Carrie.

Things changed with the guys. When Reggie and Luke were singing an inch apart and Reggie desperately wanted to kiss him, he did. When Reggie wanted to press kisses all over Alex’s face and tell him how in love with him he was, he did. When Alex was on fire during practice and Luke was so excited he wanted to drag him close for a makeout session he did just that. It was everything he ever wanted. A few times Reggie almost feared he’d cross over from how happy he was. 

They doubled down on their searching for Willie and a couple of weeks later they found him. He’d been doing his best to hide out from Caleb and search out a way to get his soul out of his hands. He thought the guys had all crossed over the night they played the Orpheum. So when he saw Alex he was ecstatic. 

He’d been the one to kiss Alex first. Right there in the middle of the garage in front of everyone. Reggie had been scared he might feel jealous but he didn’t. Not anymore. Not now that he knew he could make Alex happy too. Not know that he knew Alex wasn’t forgetting him for Willie.

Alex sat Willie down and explained their relationship with him. To everybody’s surprise he didn’t even need to think about it. He shrugged and said that he hoped he could be better friends with his boyfriends’ boyfriends. Alex had literally cried with relief as he kissed him.

Reggie had never been so content in his life. And it was strange that he’d had to die to be so happy. But here he was and here they were. He was with his boys, got to make music with Julie, and for now that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, a few notes here now that the story is over:  
> I was surprised at just how divided the votes were for this ending. It made me realize that people were probably going to be disappointed no matter what. I tried to keep it Luke/Reggie. You might be able to tell that was the original intention but Alex kept sneaking his way in there. I still wanted him to be with Willie though. And this is my story so I did just that! I just added the tag for the threeway relationship.  
> I've toyed with the idea of doing an alternate ending that's just Luke/Reggie? But I don't know if I really want to.  
> Hope ya'll who voted Luke/Reggie aren't too disappointed. If you hated it don't tell me because I'll probably cry tbh  
> Also, yes the ending is super sappy and perhaps even too 'happily ever after' but I couldn't get myself to give these boys anything else after all the emotional turmoil.  
> Thanks so much for reading and sticking with me through five chapters. I had a lot of fun writing this!
> 
> Quick Edit to these notes. I realized that I never credited the songs that I used lyrics from and feel really bad about that! Last chapter lyrics were from Broken Crown by Mumford and Sons and lyrics from this chapter are from Reasons Why I Like You by Abbey Glover.


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